Feeling happy for once.

I'm in a peculiar situation.

An old friend of mine (Let's go with Shannon), whom I used to be kinda sweet on, has a sister.
Her sister and I have known each other for about 4 years.
Recently, the sister (Let's call her Mary) and I have been texting a lot.
There's been quite some flirting going around.

We have a lot in common.
In addition to that, we like the same stuff. We like the same movies, games, music...even the obscure bands that no one I know has heard of(At least that I know of), she's a fan of. Bands like The Rasmus, or Tegan and Sara.
We're also both, at least, moderately attractive adults.
I'm really falling hard for this girl.
Thing is, there's the possibility of her having a boyfriend. This possibility is...disheartening.

I've been in an absolutely fantastic mood. Smiling, laughing, generally enjoying myself.
Which isn't bad for a jobless, depressed loser.

Tonight, she plans on staying up late so we can text all night.
Maybe I'll get some clarity from that.

Now, the catch.
Even if Mary and I do, by some miracle, get together, there will be HELLA awkward moments between that family and me. Shannon and Mary have an older sister who Shannon used to talk with about me, which sucks because otherwise, I'd be able to talk to her about this whole thing.
Also Mary might have a boyfriend.
Also Mary may just be flirting with me, and that's it.
Also I don't think either of us can handle a long-distance relationship.

Also...I don't want to be in love again.
Last time hurt so badly, I just can't handle that again.
But, goddammit, do I want love.


A friend of mine gave me some advice; "If you refuse to act because of fear, then you have already lost. Risk is the only way to achieve anything. If it fails so be it, it is not the world's end."

One of my alters told me; "If things go south, it's more pain, yes. But think...what if they don't? You've got this."



That's it.
Advice is appreciated. ._.